The Awful Truth

It has been about a month since I started this blog. I have accomplished two things. One was planned, increasing my water intake. The other took me by surprise, exercising regularly. I am amazed that I am doing it. I don't think I have missed one day, but I admit that I do look forward to Wednesdays and Saturdays, my two days off.  Who knew?

In between sips and steps, I have been experimenting with eating plans, hoping to find one I can live with and more important, one that will keep my blood sugar in check. I have tested quite a few plans, and I think I may have found one that works for me. I will write more about it next time. It is nothing new to me; in fact, it worked before.

So if it worked before, why didn't I stick with it? Why don't any of us stick to it? My son once reminded me that I put myself through college while working as a waitress and raising him and his brother on my own.  "All you need to do is apply that same determination to losing weight." Oh, is that all? I really could not argue with that, so I tried it. Like my other attemps, it did not last.

I don't know the answer, but what I do know is that this time around, I am investing much more time in it. And much more thought. In the past, I thought I was doing everything I needed to do. I got rid of the "bad" food, planned healthy meals, shopped with a list, even kept a food journal. I got up early and exercised. Once I even thought of five things I was grateful for and repeated them aloud while I exercised. Thank you Oprah. I was very grateful when that bit the dust.

I think that the time and thought I am investing now is helping me stay on track. I have no real measurable goal. Sometimes I think maybe I should try to lose 10 pounds by a certain date, but that really is not what I want to do. I really want to live a healthy life, and I want to do it as effortlessly as possible. I want it to be part of me. Maybe that is the missing piece.

In the past I had all kinds of goals, but I merely went through the motions. Now I have no measurable goals and I find myself thinking about what I am doing, what I am eating, and what I may really accomplish.  I think about what lies ahead for the healthier version of me. I now understand what people say about exercise. It really is true that after putting time into exercise, you do not want to destroy any good you have done by eating something like a  Ferraro Rocher or drinking some sugary, fat-laden coffee with an 8 word name.

Maybe the truth is that sometimes setting a goal is not the answer.  Sometimes you just need to be mindful.